NG
3 hours ago
Neighbors
report that the tenuous cease fire between rival factions of the G household
has been broken this morning. Rival factions Sh and Sn have renewed hostile
action against each other, a move household government forces say is fueled by
a disturbance in the routine, and a lack of sleep. Sh's goals are unclear, but
it would appear that he is moving for complete psychological destruction of Sn.
Sn's goals have been reiterated frequently on national channels. He seeks any
solution that includes removing Sh from the household, returning him to his
country of origin, though despite the lack of a long form birth certificate,
and some question as to his exact legal birth date, it would appear he was born
within the household, and no other government has claimed him. Failure to remove
Sh, Sn says, will force Sn to seek secession from the government. Government
dictator The Mama remains tight lipped on the subject, but has said the
government is considering a forced neighborhood walk, followed by mandatory nap
time.
Unlike ·
·
You, Jt, Bryan Terry and 32 others like this.
·
NG We
will continue to update you on this developing situation.
3 hours ago · Like · 8
·
CJ Waiting with breath that is baited
on updates to the conclusion of these hostilities. One hopes the (benevolent)
dictator will have everything under control soon.
3 hours ago · Like · 1
·
AR And
the public sits rapt, refreshing their facebook news feeds for updates on the G
uprising.
3 hours ago · Like · 10
·
JC Pundits
theorize whether the unrest is a territorial dispute or if there are deeper
issues at play.
2 hours ago via mobile · Like · 4
·
Bryan Terry Foreign officials are
watching the tense situation and trying to determine if this is an isolated
incident or if such uprisings will spread beyond the borders of the G household
and into other households. The Terry Government is especially tense as a recent
outbreak of illness has made an already uneasy peace quite volatile and if such
hostilities as are evidenced in the G Household were to spread to the Terry
Household, it is unsure how the Government would react, though international
observers hold that swift action and severe sanctions would likely result.
2 hours ago · Like · 4
2 hours ago · Like · 4
·
NG Though
the history of forced marches is marred by allegations of human rights violations
and war crimes, the G household successfully negotiated terms for a walk
accepted by all parties, taking into account their ages and associated
frailties. The three year old war monger rode in state in a stroller,
distracted from violence or embarrassing public protest by a bounty of ring
shaped cereal. All sides received identical baggies of cereal, under the terms
of the temporary peace treaty. As a concession for giving up using the rain
soaked and way too heavy double stroller, in favor of the lighter, single
seater for Sh, Sn chose the route, adding a stop at the neighborhood grocery
for apples, a sought after faction favorite. All parties carried water bottles,
and used the potty before departing. The walk has been hailed as a success by
the entire household.
Upon return to G territory, Sa has agreed to reading nap time stories to Sh rather than nap alone, while Sn waits out the term of his enforced rest time in his bed, finishing his apple and cereal. Hopes for an enforced nap time are diminishing as sleep proves elusive, but the mandatory bedtime curfew goes into effect in three hours and forty five minutes. The Mama led government expresses hope that this day will end without further bloodshed.
Upon return to G territory, Sa has agreed to reading nap time stories to Sh rather than nap alone, while Sn waits out the term of his enforced rest time in his bed, finishing his apple and cereal. Hopes for an enforced nap time are diminishing as sleep proves elusive, but the mandatory bedtime curfew goes into effect in three hours and forty five minutes. The Mama led government expresses hope that this day will end without further bloodshed.
55 minutes ago · Unlike · 5
·
JG Although
its commitments abroad have largely held it to the point of inaction in this
incident, the Dissension Aspersion Department (DAD) passed, by overwhelming
majority, a vote of complete confidence in the actions of the benevolent
dictator. There is speculation that this show of overwhelming support is purely
symbolic, though independent sources have confirmed that an eleventh hour
"peacekeeping" mission is being considered even now.
47 minutes ago · Unlike · 3
·
NG The
rebels used the cover of The Mama's press conference to violate their enforced rest
time. Upon discovering Sn in an unsanctioned area of the house during his own
illicit patrols, Sh immediately resumed his sonic assault on Sn's already
ragged defenses. Sn responded with a direct hit to Sh's sonic equipment. The
Mama's responses was swift. Sn is restricted to his bedroom. Sh is restricted
to the backyard, under guard.
28 minutes ago · Like · 2
·
Bryan
Terry Though it is largely seen as a symbolic rather than
substantive gesture, the G Household ally the Terry Household Government has
issued an unilateral statement of support and offer of aid and affirming
the friendship between the two Households. At this point, the media is
reporting that the press conference was interrupted by argumentative factions
within the Terry Government's own borders which led to a media blackout in the
middle of the press conference. Officials within the government have not been
available for comment, but an insider reporting on condition of anonymity is
saying that the release of strategic food reserves is calming the various warring
sides.
9 minutes ago · Unlike · 2
·
Alisa
Elizabeth King Terry The independent media requests
permission to reprint this in the blogospheres, assuming responsibility for
anonymity of all involved parties, for the benefit of an informed public and
for the preservation of hilarity for future generations.
2 minutes ago · Like · 1
·
N G Reports
from the ground indicate that the resumption of hostilities is having a
detrimental effect on government operating procedures, including the production
of the G dinner. Rumblings of protest have begun in the Sa camp. Governmental
officials report high levels of frustration, but no panic yet. Reinforcements
with the arrival DAD are not anticipated for another two hours.
about a minute ago · Unlike · 2
·
N G The
G household does not object to global interest and dissemination of their
plight. Pleas for international aid are being considered.
No comments:
Post a Comment