Sunday, September 25, 2011

A Daddy's View On Attachment Parenting



My awesome Bryan posted an article today and then left a comment that made me all warm and fuzzy inside. I am LUCKY and BLESSED to have a partner who shares my parenting values.


If a monkey is smart enough to babywear without suffocating the little one, you can too. After all, you're smarter than a monkey, aren't you?
uk.news.yahoo.com
Parents have been warned about the dangers of carrying babies in slings after the death of a newborn child in South Australia.
· · · 8 hours ago · Privacy:

    • Bryan Terry I love baby wearing, especially as a father it gives me an opportunity to bond with my kiddos when they are very young. There has never been any concern about one of them dying ... if you take some VERY basic precautions, babywearing is a much better alternative.

      I honestly think that all these warnings come from stroller and baby-bucket manufacturers who are mad you are wearing your baby rather than carting them around in the removable carseat baby bucket or a designer stroller.

      Whenever I'm babywearing and I see a parent carting around the baby bucket and a thousand other things (its usually a mother with an oblivious husband, or with a passel of other kids) I feel bad for them. Babies aren't that complicated. You don't need a detachable bucket or stroller: get a sling. You don't need a bottle and all its accoutrements (generally speaking, there are exceptions): breastfeed. Use cloth diapers as opposed to spending hundreds a month of disposables; cosleep, don't get a crib and electronic monitoring devices.

      Babies thrive on interaction and modern parenthood has devised millions of ways to remove that interaction and place a(n) [usually expensive] intermediary device between parents and babies, typically to satisfy a parent's vanity.
      8 hours ago · · 2 people

Monday, September 19, 2011

Playing With Color Palette Generator










You can play too by CLICKING HERE. You post the URL for your image by right-clicking on it and selecting View Image, then plug that address into the generator. Caution: Addictive.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

A Montessori/Waldorf-y Blog You Should Read Right Now

Okay, so, first of all, it was fun making my little newsletter, but out of 80 subscribers and 130 blog followers on blogger, I got feedback from about 5 people, so, forget it, I'm not doing it. It's too time consuming for that little lovin'. So, I'll just post things as I come across them.

I came across an awesome Montessori blog that has, among other things, a calendar system a lot like the one I just set up, the exact same play dough recipe we use, and  a post about making her own butter. I want everyone to know that I am not copying her. She just happens to have some of my more awesome qualities. (wink, wink). Also, she takes better pictures. My camera sucks and I have no photography skills, and I am convinced that this is why I don't have thousands of followers, and not because I am abrasive and post only infrequently.

Get to the blog, already!

Counting Coconuts (CLICK HERE) has this going on:

Free Printables including a few nomenclature cards and some calendar awesomeness.

Lego Math ideas.

This homemade calendar that includes moon phases and a prayer-of-the-day, which is a brilliant idea I may steal with inspirational quotes.

Also, knitting, a nature table, arts and crafts, theme units, and a brand new delicious baby to coo over. I'd post a picture of the baby but that's really creepy to post pictures of strangers' babies on your blog.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

For Attachment Parenting Christians

I have tremendous admiration and a bit of jealousy for people who truly live a religion of peace. I was not able to find peace through Christianity, but a lot of people have, and through it they have generally happy homes and approach parenting with the gentleness and creativity that marked Christ's life.

If you are Christian and trying to create a home based on Attachment Parenting and Natural Family Living, you might find these resources helpful. I find them inspirational, myself.

I would also like to apologize for sometimes coming off anti_Christian. While it is true that nobody is perfect, I do take umbrage with people who do cruel things in the name of Christ. At best this is a misunderstanding of Christ's teachings and at worse hypocrisy calculated to bring fame, power and ill-gotten gain.

Aside from those who are shouting hate in the name of someone decidedly un-hateful, are those who are striving for meekness, humility, patience, and compassion. I solute those parents no matter which religion they belong to or philosophy they embrace.

A Note: I am not necessarily endorsing any of these resources, though I do subscribe to some of the blogs and follow GCM on facebook. It is up to each person to do their own sleuthing and determine if a resource speaks to them or not. I have not reviewed them all in depth for potential hate speech - if I have listed a resource here that is aggressively racist, anti-gay, anti-one religion instead of pro-their own, or otherwise non in line with gentle Christianity, let me know and I'll remove it. I respect that most conservative religions are against many of the things I am for, but it is my hope and expectation that these particular groups and bloggers conduct themselves compassionately.

Gentle Christian Mothers
"Gentle Christian Mothers™ (GCM) was born out a desire to help unite mothers who believe that God has given mamas a mothering instinct and whose hearts' desire is to nurture our children gently. GCM is a safe place to grow and learn along with other like-minded mothers who love the Lord. Sometimes we feel alone in our parenting choices, and sometimes we get weary and need support. We hope and pray that you will find helpful information, support, and encouragement at GCM."

The Crunchy Mormon Forum
Apparently 8 of my AP mama friends are in this group.

Naturalldsmoms Yahoo! Group
"A place for natural LDS mothers to talk about motherhood and the challenges of raising their children with good values in today's society. We cover many different topics, although most conversation does lean towards young motherhood.

This list is for WOMEN ONLY, and is PRO-LDS. No Flaming, Bashing or Spaming allowed here! We are here to share our knowledge and learn from each other. This is also a support group where we want to feel comfortable posting, so by subscribing to this list you are agreeing that "if you can't say anything nice, you won't say anything at all". You don't have to practice all natural parenting styles as mentioned here, but you need to be supportive of others who do.

There are many places to find support for other parenting styles, but it is important to us that this group be a haven for those of us who are making different choices. Therefore, within this group, we ask that you each show TOLERANCE, PATIENCE, LOVE, HUMILITY, and ACCEPTANCE in your posts. We believe that each family must make their own choices, but within this group we are here in general to SUPPORT those who attachment parent, use gentle discipline, homebirth, co-sleep, homeschool, babywear, breastfeed, use herbal or homeopathic medicine, do not circumcise, delay or do not vaccinate, and/or eat vegetarian, vegan, or traditional diets (like WAP).

It is not uncommon for 'hot topics' to come up, but we will not debate them here: those who wish to have debates about these topics, please join NaturalLDSMoms_Debate at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nldsm_debate/

Please note that since we ARE an LDS list, there will be NO bashing/negativity or speculation concerning LDS doctrine, leaders, etc. Genuine questions or concerns are always welcome.

Our scripture study blog: http://enduring-to-the-end.blogspot.com/"

Arms of Love Family Fellowship
"The Arms of Love Family Fellowship, founded by Crystal Lutton, is a ministry devoted to mentoring moms and dads in a positive discipline approach called Grace Based Discipline.  This method has demonstrated success with people with special needs, large groups of children and one-on-one situations, with short term and long term results...

To further our purpose of promoting Grace Based Discipline (GBD), Arms of Love Family Fellowship is also working to be a child and family advocacy group. We have held local events for National SpankOut Day and are encouraging pro-family and pro-child legislation that will benefit GBD-minded families, though we are in no way a political or official lobbying group. We support Attachment Parenting ideas as being the most relationship-forming practices for mothering babies, though GBD can be embraced by anyone regardless of their personal choices in parenting babies."


ARTICLES  
Train Up a Child in the Way He Should Go... 

So many religious "experts" now offer inflexible childrearing advice. But can any of us truly know God's will? And which do you trust: your teacher or your heart?


"As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you." - Isaiah 66:13

By William Sears, M.D.
"As a pediatrician, Christian, and father of eight children, I would like to reassure all worried parents who find themselves asking, "Will I be a good parent? Will I be able to raise a godly child?" God would not give you a child without also giving you the ability and means to raise that child. He would never give you a child with, for example, a temperament that you couldn't handle. This would violate the very concept of "creator." God, as creator, designed within every mother and father the necessary tools to parent each individual child.

The key to compassionate, successful Christian parenting is simply to discover your tools and use them according to the plan that God has for you and your child. This may be a different plan than your neighbor's or anyone else's in your church. That's fine. Just trust in the concept of creator and know that within you He has put the tools to become an expert on your baby."

Frugal Granola: Christian Attachment Parenting
"Even before we knew of the term “attachment parenting,” apparently, that is what we were doing. 

In Dr. Dobson’s book “Seven Solutions for Burned Out Parents,” he reminisces about his own childhood. He describes the memory of living in a one-bedroom home with his parents, and sleeping in a little bed next to theirs at night.  When he would awake in the night, needing reassurance in the dark, his dad would simply hold out his hand to hold, allowing him to fall back asleep- comforted. In essence, he describes this experience as mirroring to our children the “accessibility” of Christ.

As a Christ-follower and a parent, I desire for my children to yearn for God’s voice, to call out to Him, and to know that we serve the God Who Sees. As we give Him our lives, He is always there, offering us Himself."

BLOGS
Progressive Pioneer 
"Sometimes the most progressive ideas are the oldest and simplest, the ones that took place 100 years ago, when no one saw anything revolutionary about them at all.  Today there are so many parenting options, so many ways to feed, clothe and care for our children.  Many spring from media moguls and business tycoons, others are born in laboratories and research centers.  In the midst of all these high tech, color coordinated, safety tested, pediatrician recommended options, the most radical choice can be to simply say, “No thanks.”  
 
When we trust our intuition, and look within, rather than to external sources for the answers, we will often find that the simplest solutions are best.  Why feed our babies deconstructed, vitamin-fortified, puffed cereals when we can simply cook up some nice, hot oatmeal, vitamins all intact?  Do we really need an entire car seat/carrier/stroller system that makes it entirely possible to go hours at a time without ever touching your baby?  Hold that sweet babe tight to your breast, wrapped in a simple cloth as millions of mothers have done before!  The latest parenting books urge us to let our babies “cry it out,” when every cell in our body tells us to fold them into our arms and soothe them to sleep.  Listen to your body!  Forget the cribs, the baby food, the play pens.  We women have been doing this for eons.  Choose to follow the examples of our pioneer forbears;  live simply, live close to the earth and close to your loved ones.

There is a line of reasoning called Occam's razor that states that when faced with multiple theories, the simplest answer is usually the correct one.  So it is with mothering, and life in general.  When all the world is turning to the latest gadget, the latest expert advice, the latest health fad, we can pioneer the way back to our roots, back to simplicity."

Passionate Homemaking
"As referred to in our byline, I want to live an intentional, purposeful, God-centered, mission-minded lifestyle. My hope is to use this blog to inspire women to be intentional in every action in their homes – to cultivate strong relationships with our family and others, inspire our children to love and serve the Lord, pursue joyful homemaking, being good stewards of the earth, and opening our homes to minister to the lost and needy around us. I like to call it “missional” living or missional homemaking. My goal is to encourage us all to ask ourselves in everything we do, from natural living to simple living, to making a home, to making decisions, what has this to do with the goal of glorifying our Lord and furthering His kingdom? That is what I mean by living intentionally. It reminds me afresh of the poem: Only one life, twill soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last. Let’s labor together to live without reserves or regrets."

The Bee In Your Bonnet
Heather is one of my dearest friends on planet earth so actually I do heartily endorse this blog.
"This blog is breastfeeding-friendly. You may breastfeed while reading this blog. You may also breastfeed while not reading this blog. In fact, you don't need my or anybody else's permission ever."
CLICK HERE for her awesome post on modesty and breastfeeding. 

The Hippie Housewife
"Parenting, natural living, life as a Jesus-follower, and more – all tied together through our journey towards a more intentional life."

Meet The Attached Parents
"Trying to bring conservative Christians and feminist attachment parents together"

Hold On To Your Catholic Kids
"Catholic Attachment Parenting

A philosophy of parenting modeled after the self-donative love exemplified in the relationship between Mary and Jesus."

 "What Is Attachment Parenting."

"Babies and children (as with all human beings) have many physical and emotional needs all falling under the umbrella of their primary need to receive and give unconditional love: food, warmth, touch, security, empathy (emotional safety), autonomy, order, self-control, freedom, self-esteem (a sense that I am lovable and able to love). When these needs are filled in healthy ways children tend to behave as healthy children ought to behave, and their passions are subdued. When these needs are unfilled, their passions are inflamed and they become unruly and uncooperative, in exactly the same way that children do when their hunger for food is left untended. Prolonged deprivation triggers a defensive flight from vulnerability (pride) which can lead to serious habits of vice: rebelliousness, violence, drugs and alcohol, gluttony (and other forms of eating disorders), materialism, backbiting, loss of the sense of modesty, sin and the sacred; sexual licentiousness and perversion; sloth, despair and suicide. The deprived become the depraved. (Dr. Neufeld shows in Part II of HOTYK how prolonged attachment void leads to all these evils).

Gentle birthing, extended breastfeeding and giving children freedom within healthy limits to make their own food choices; holding or wearing your baby as much as he wants and as you are able; ensuring safe sleep emotionally and physically, i.e., co-sleeping or bed-sharing; avoiding separations and providing consistent loving care when they're unavoidable; responding with sensitivity; positive and gentle discipline which seeks to identify and fill the underlying need to re-establish equilibrium and only afterward to solicit cooperation (in the spirit of the words of St. John of the Cross, "Where there is no love, put love and you will find love."),
rather than inflicting the suffering of deprivation, i.e. negative discipline: withdrawing physical comfort (spanking), affection (glaring, yelling, etc.), admiration and sense of self-worth (shaming), proximity (isolation in time-out), etc., in order to forcefully modify behavior; and balance--interior and exterior--balanced parents and balanced environment--all work together to provide for the child's needs, and at the same time help parents to become more virtuous people. A Trinitarian relationship is born in which parents, acting as intermediaries of God's grace, give the unconditional love and acceptance the child needs to grow in virtue so that he can eventually return that love. In turn, parents unconditionally accept the child's attempts to love, providing him with encouragement, hope, and a sense of power, autonomy and self-worth. A mutually sanctifying cycle of giving and receiving unconditional love is initiated and the Blessed Trinity is enthroned in our hearts and in our relationships.  The feeling of being felt that is the hallmark of the secure attachment is none other than the awareness of the Presence of the Blessed Trinity "incarnated" in our mutual, self-sacrificing love for one another, "Where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I in their midst."

When children's needs are filled, they can remain at peace--at rest, as opposed to in flight from their vulnerability (a.k.a. "flight from suffering," "fear of the Cross"). It is only in this peaceful rest (in Christ--in a Trinitarian relationship) that human beings can grow physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Moments of unrest and strife which are unavoidable in this life are easily weathered, and calm is quickly restored."