The Stalking Is Love!

There's a status meme going around teh facebooks worded like this or very close to it:

"My promise to my children: I am not your friend. I am your mother. I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, and hunt you down like a bloodhound when necessary because I love you. When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible adult. You will never find someone who loves, prays, and cares more for you than I do. Repost if you are a mom!."

Rather than analyze the wrong, I'd like to share the rewordings I discovered in the mommy blogosphere, starting with the one I posted:

"My promise to my children: I am your friend. I will not stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, or hunt you down like a bloodhound, because those things are creepy. Coercion is not necessary to help children become responsible adults. When parents understand that, the world will be a more peaceful place. Please surround yourself with people who love, pray, and care for you as much as I do."

And More:

"My promise to my children. I am your friend. I am your mom. I will protect you, listen to you, respect you, support you, be your strongest advocate & give you wings to fly when you are ready because I LOVE YOU. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, and cares about you more than I do." (LINK)

"My promise to my children ~ I LOVE being your friend! Being both friend and Mother is a wonderful experience. I will hang out with you when you feel like it, talk when you want, and listen when you need me to, drive you anywhere you need or want to go, wish you sweet dreams every night and miss you like crazy when you're away because I LOVE YOU! Someday, I hope you do find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries about you more than I do, and when you do, marry him! Repost if you are a parent and agree.♥" (LINK)

"My promise to my kids – I am not only your friend, I am your Mentor, Leader, and Guide. I will always work hard to keep our relationship strong. I hope that you will always trust and respect me, but I know these are qualities that must work both ways. I hope you will forgive me when I flip out on you, as I believe this is unacceptable behavior, but I am human and may give in to my primitive brain sometimes. I will give you unsolicited advice and work with you to correct any behavior I feel needs correcting, but ultimately it is your life and your decision. I hope you trust that I am always working in your best interest and my goal is for you to become a responsible, happy, and successful adult. I will have faith in my ability to teach you how to make wise decisions so that I don’t have to stalk you. I trust our communication will be open and honest. If you ever need me, I will be there and I hope you will never be afraid to ask me for help. I will always have your back and support you no matter what, because I LOVE YOU and I already know you are amazing! Re-Post if you are a parent that does things a little differently…" (LINK)

"A message to my children: I am blessed to be your mother and honored to be your friend. I will always be there for you, supporting you and providing a secure, loving base. As long as your safety is not compromised, I will trust you to make decisions, even when I disagree. I will offer my advice when appropriate, but always remember in any conversation listening is more important than talking. I promise to be one person in your life on whom you can depend unconditionally. I know that you will grow into a content, responsible adult who respects others because you have been shown respect. I will care for your needs and pray for you daily because I love you. Repost to show how much you care about your children." (LINK)