Scary Muslims In Their Nerve-Wracking Muslim Garb

Playroom, Before

Hoping to update the hell out of this playroom.

I need curtains, and that empty corner in the middle picture will eventually have a play tent in it. I'm not allowed to paint the walls. Other than that, I got nothing. I've been scouring the intertubes for ideas.

Dear Ginormous Fix-It People:

A few NOWs ago, I felt really wrong inside. Somehow, I activated parts of my body that fixed the problem and made me comfortable inside, but then something happened OUTSIDE that as far as I know is completely unrelated. I am unable to solve this problem myself. I have tried squirming around a little and pumping my arms up and down a few times. Nothing. NOW I am really uncomfortable and need you to fix it. Wah.

Okay, NOW that you have picked me up and are taking me somewhere, I see that you don't understand what I am trying to say to you, because I am being carried somewhere but still feel "wrong." Carrying me somewhere has not solved the problem. I am going to try and articulate this as clearly as I possibly can. Maybe this time you will actually understand and we will have a connection and my problem will go away. WAH WAH.

Okay, NOW I am being put back down again! I have been trying for NOW minutes and NOW seconds to get you to make the wrongness go away! That is too long of a NOW! I am going to have to kick my legs, arch my back and twist from side to side! Stop trying to make me stop moving, I am trying to fix the problem myself!! NOW you have done something and my butt feels cold! Do you not hear the very specific words coming out of my mouth?? I AM NOW POSITIVE THAT I WILL NEVER BE COMFORTABLE OR HAPPY AGAIN!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Maybe if I keep this up someone who speaks my language will come to my rescue and hey, wait, that feels pretty good. Oh, hey, the WRONG has disappeared! Huh! Hey, is that the same painting that's been in that exact spot for NOW weeks? Look at that! Oh, it's YOU! I KNOW YOU! (SMILE). Would you like to play with me NOW?

Love, Moira.

C-Section By Divine Design

Me holding a brand new, 10-minutes-old Moira while they stitched me up.

I made a short comment on my Facebook page that I want to elaborate on. I had posted THIS LINK concerning c-sections, and a friend had empathized with me over my own experiences. This is how a short conversation went:

ME: I've had 3, but I do not take this lightly. A sectioned mother's chance of dying in childbirth is 300% greater than women who birth vaginally. I bled so heavily for so long afterwords this time I almost had to have a second surgery to fix it. If you don't absolutely need one, DON'T do it. The "convenience" isn't worth the risk.

Friend:  I love you for sharing your experience in the hopes that someone else can think twice. And I'm sorry that you had to go through that. :(

Me: I think the universe put it in motion so that it would humble me. I can be WAY over-fanatical about my ideas sometimes and these c-sections remind me to keep an open heart.

Friend:  I hear you. I get those humbling moments at times too, and it's nice. It brings me off my high horse. Otherwise I would be so wrapped up in ideology that I wouldn't have any handle on reality. :P

One of my greatest heartbreaks is that I have never had a normal birth. Each one was incredibly painful, frightening and traumatic. While it's true that I have been blessed with three awesome children, that gratitude is separate from, not in place of, the long-term disappointment and emotional suffering that come from having a body that does not do what it will do for millions of other women all over the world this year and every year. I feel broken, especially when faced with my own support for home birth and natural birth and my disdain for most hospital births.

Right now, my favorite attachment parenting comic is doing a series on how medicalized birth really has not made birth safer. I want to shout a "hell yeah," about these. I want to post them everywhere. I want to still point out to mothers the uselessness of constant fetal monitoring and episiotomies and, as I did with this link, the very real risks of c-sections.

It takes the wind out of my sails to have to add the disclaimer, "but not for me. Medicalized birth did in fact save my life from a failing liver and failing kidneys, twice. It did actually save my child's life. I'm the exception. So listen to me but don't."

I am beginning to think that these births were sent to me to knock me down a notch or two.

There are things out there I'm still stalwart about - there's no such thing as an exception for cry-it-out sleep training, or a circumstance under which spanking is the right choice. Baby scheduling endangers the health and well-being of infants and I will never get behind that.

But, I have also developed sympathy toward the mama who is "selfish enough" to want an epidural, since I experienced such pain as to literally want to commit suicide. I encourage but do not insist on co-sleeping because I have a friend whose child absolutely hated being touched while she was asleep and only slept well when she was by herself. I believe breast milk is the best thing for babies but after having a sister dry up completely just a few days after giving birth (her body reacted to our father's death), I know that for some women they have very little choice beyond some donated breast milk and supplementing with baby formula. And, after having my first born son hate baby carriers until he was about 5 or 6 months old, I know babywearing doesn't work for every situation.

Cloth diapers, organic clothing, non-medicated childbirth, home school, even stay-at-home parenting - I know what the ideals are, and it's good to reach for the ideals, but it is also important to understand the different limitations we all have, within ourselves and within our families. Very few parenting decisions are between "good" and "bad." Many of them are between "good," "better," and "within the realms of our current capabilities."

In response to some criticisms about content in Mothering Magazine, editor Peggy O'Mara wrote the following:

"Recognizing that our ideas, beliefs, and attitudes about our children and ourselves as parents are always in process keeps us from turning our good ideas into dogma. Natural family living is full of good ideas. There's plenty of evidence that responsive parenting works well. And yet ideas, no matter how good they are, must be forged by real-life experiences. We have to learn how to mediate them with the inevitably uncontrollable nature of family life.

Certainly we will feel regret when things turn out different from what we'd hoped. And we all ask the proverbial "Why?" when bad things happen. Too much time spent trying to answer this question, however, can distract us from finding out something even more important: What can I learn from this experience?

A bad experience is like a dive for buried treasure. There is a wreck. Someone has to figure out what happened and remember what to do the next time. Everyone hopes to find the treasure hidden in the wreck, even though many doubt that it's there at all. Like a bad experience, once we mine our regrets for information about what we might have done differently, and what we might do if the same circumstances arise again, we've already discovered a lot of treasure. When the time is right, we can then let the experience go."

-Regrets - A Quiet Place by Peggy O'Mara

So yes, you will see me talk, and even preach, about the things I believe are the best choices for the well-being of children in particular and families as a whole, but very rarely will I follow that up with "and you are completely wrong if you do/don't." I have, in fact, been humbled by my terrible births. That does not make them less painful or disappointing, but it does give them meaning beyond "my body just couldn't and wouldn't."

Not to say I won't get in your face for making what I think are stupid choices, but, you know, rarely.

I Don't Even Keep Soap In a Box

An anonymous person left me a comment about how I had a new baby and then stood on her for a soapbox. Or something like that, I deleted it. Obviously it wasn't really intended for my blog because I don't even use soap. I use a mix of natural grains that, blended together in various proportions, become "Miracle Grains." They have vastly improved the condition of my skin, not just on my face, but all over. So if I'm exploiting my baby to preach some sort of non-negotiable parenting dogma, I'm not using her as a soapbox. I'm using her as a Miracle Grains dispenser.

On a more serious note, I will never stop preaching against the unnecessary harm of infants and children. NEVER.

To lighten the mood again, here's some adorable for you.

ETA: CLICK HERE for a link to Rosemary Gladstar's Miracle Grains recipe. I leave out the roses because Bryan is allergic.

Water Will Heal The World

October 15 is Blog Action Day, and today the theme is WATER.

Access to clean water would do more to solve the problems of hunger and disease than any other thing.

Consider this paragraph about the connection between breastfeeding, formula mixed with unclean water, and diseases brought on from poor santitation:

Postneonatal mortality is most often caused by infectious diseases, such as pneumonia, tetanus, and malaria. An important factor in reducing post-neonatal mortality is adequate nutrition, particularly breast milk, which provides babies with both the nourishment and the antibodies to fight infectious diseases. Of course adequate breast milk depends upon adequately nourished mothers. Also important is the proper use of breast milk substitutes—mixing formula with unclean water and/or diluting formula for cost-savings reasons, both known to occur in developing countries, have negative affects on the health of infants. The promotion by multinational corporations of breast milk substitutes to women in poorer countries has been one of the travesties of our times; it is estimated that 1.5 million deaths a year could be prevented by breast-feeding. (SOURCE LINK)

Tetanus is passed through feces, as are diptheria, polio and HiB. These theoretically vaccine preventable diseases would not be such a major killer of children if children did not live in unhygienic conditions in the first place, which starts with clean water for drinking, and washing hands, clothes and dishware. Mothers produce more breast milk when they are adequately nourished - access to clean water would mean abundant crops and healthy livestock. Poor families sometimes dilute infant formula, mix it with unclean water, and serve it in inadequately cleaned bottles. 

According to UNICEF's page for Water, Sanitation, and Hygiene, "Almost fifty per cent of the developing world’s population – 2.5 billion people – lack improved sanitation facilities, and over 884 million people still use unsafe drinking water sources. Inadequate access to safe water and sanitation services, coupled with poor hygiene practices, kills and sickens thousands of children every day, and leads to impoverishment and diminished opportunities for thousands more."

Today, I boiled my pasta in clean water straight from my faucet, then poured that water down the drain. When my baby gets poop on me, I wash off my hands in hot running water. When I visit my garden, I turn on fresh water and run it through a drip irrigation system and in turn grow lush organic vegetables. I run at least one load of laundry a day. I have not one but two toilets in my apartment so I usually don't have to wait for a turn and everything gets flushed away where we never see it or touch it ever again (with the only rare exception of when the toilets are attacked by a preschooler who loves to use lots of toilet paper). I drank more water during pregnancy to keep amniotic fluid level adequate and my ankles from swelling. I drink extra water now to help produce breastmilk.

I am richer than more than half of the entire world's population, with my access to not just clean water, but hot water, water so abundant that I not only care for my family with it, but we keep pet fish in it, and give it to non-edible flowers just for their aesthetic appeal.

The longest I have ever had to go without water was 12 hours while waiting for a post-op gallbladder procedure.It was awful, and I sneaked drinks out of the faucet when I got up to use the bathroom.

Whenever I feel poor, and like I'm struggling, and like things are never going to get better, I turn on my faucet and remind myself that things could be much, MUCH worse.

I am grateful for water. I am blessed to have water. I am holy for lending the water in my body to grow three beautiful children and then nourish them for years afterwords. Water is literally the giver of life, and I have little room for real complaint when I have access to so much of it.

Vegan Spice Cupcakes With Cinnamon Frosting

These are absolutely delicious. I just made them tonight when I went to make chocolate ones and realised we are out of cocoa.

I started with THIS RECIPE (CLICK HERE) for chocolate cake, but made the following changes:

No cocoa
1 tsp cinnamon
Dash of ginger
Dash of nutmeg
Dash of cloves
Extra half cup of flour

Fill cupcake trays nearly to the top. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 (not 40!) minutes.

Cinnamon Frosting

1/4 cup vanilla rice milk
1-1/2 Tblsp vegan margarine
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Dash of salt
Splash of vanilla
2 cups powdered sugar
Whip until well mixed and creamy

Spread over cooled cupcakes. Enjoy!!!

Australia, Finland and Sweden Ban Flu Shots for Young Children

I haven't shared vaccine articles in a while because most people who read this blog already don't vaccinate or do so on a modified schedule. However, I feel most strongly about the flu shot and thought this was important.

The flu shot is still permitted in the United States to contain mercury. It is the only one that is not required to remove it, and is the one that, if you stick to the recommended schedule, children and adults would both get every single year. (Click Here For More Info) The flu shot cannot be disposed of in a landfill because its mercury level exceeds EPA limits by as much as 250 times, yet is supposedly safe to inject into children and pregnant women. Think about that for a moment. You can request a thimerosal free vaccine by visiting the link I just posted if you insist on getting one. You can visit the link I just posted in this paragraph for a list of flu vaccines being offered mercury-free.

The flu shot package inserts contain more potential side effects than any other package insert I have read - over 60 of them, including asthma. EVERY SINGLE flu vaccine package insert I have read (I just reviewed 7 of them) warns that Guillain-Barré Syndrome can show up within 6 weeks of the shot. This is paralysis.

The H1N1 vaccine, which proved to be both useless and more harmful,has been added to many regular flu shots this year, presumably to make up for the fact that no one was getting it and it was a huge loss financially.

According to this article (CLICK HERE), Australia has banned the flu shot for children under the age of five "after one baby girl died, and more than 250 other children were hospitalized with convulsions and high fevers following their seasonal flu vaccine injections." In addition, " Finland also suspended the H1N1 vaccines due to six reports of narcolepsy in children and teens immediately following vaccination. According to The Helsinki Times, "Medical reports suggest that over 750 of those who have been vaccinated have experienced harmful effects.In Sweden, an investigation was launched after cases of post-vaccination narcolepsy appeared in children there as well. "The vaccines appear to be causing a pattern of neurological disorders affecting children and teens across the planet," said a report in India's Bharat Chronicle."
 
Flu season begins, not when everyone goes back to school, but when winter comes on. There is strong evidence that it is the lack of sunlight that contributes to flu susceptibility. Instead of risking the flu shot, which often gives people "flu like symptoms" anyway, increase your family's intake of Vitamin D3, and get out in the light whenever possible. Watch the intake of processes sugar, since it weakens the immune system. Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, wash your hands frequently, and breastfeed those babies and toddlers.

Click here for Susun Weed's list of ways to keep yourself healthy this flu season, including eating more garlic, drinking herbal infusions, etc.

Our Autumn Nature Table

So far - if I had more time (HAHAHAHAHA! I kill me!) I'd be making more autumn gnomes and some more plush pumpkins, but this works so far!

In Honor of International Babywearing Week...

...here are my favorite pictures of us wearing our kids. Enjoy!

CONNOR

 

DEIRDRE

 

MOIRA

The Connected Parenting Podcast

I am really enjoying these short 2-5 minute podcasts. I especially recommend Episode 5 as a great reminder to honor children's emotions as being valid.

CLICK HERE to go to the podcast online.

Toys And Books Our Children Have Loved

Someone I know is pregnant after over 16 years since the last birth. She's been asking about toys and baby supplies. We've had some failures and some things that the children enjoy almost every single day. I am writing this post for her, and hope some of you will pitch in the things that have stood the test of time.

Baby Books and Toys

A Rattle or Teething Toy
We have had several different rattles, but our first babies picked out a favorite and that became the one they wanted the most. Connor's favorite was a Tigger rattle. Deirdre's favorite was a carrot teething toy I crocheted her.

Connor and his Tigger rattle.

Deirdre and her crocheted carrot teether.

A Baby Walker/Push Toy

Both babies LOVED pushing on a push toy as they were learning to stand up and walk. They both would push their toy across the room and then yell at us to turn it around for them so they could push it back.

Deirdre and Her Walker

Stacking Toys

You don't necessarily need a specific stacking toy - kids will stack random things, anyway. However, we consider the natural wooden ring stacking toy we bought for Deirdre to be a good purchase. It's beautiful, non-toxic and durable.

Deirdre and Her Stacking Rings

Baby Books

These have been favorites since Connor was born. We even read Go, Dog, Go! while he was still in utero, and when he was born, he loved hearing us read it to him.

Toddler Toys And Books

Schleich Animals

Connor and Deirdre have had stuffed animals, cute Fisher Price animals, and these model animals, and by far these are the favorites. They are so realistic they are actually anatomically correct (watch out for that male pig...). They are hand painted molded plastic and the children play with them almost every single day.

If they watch a movie, read a book, or flip through a magazine with animals in it, they bring out the corresponding Schleich animals. The sea animals float, so they bring those into the bath. We've used them for sorting patterns, learning to count, and practicing first letter sounds (H is for horse!). Deirdre carries them around in her backpack. Daddy invented a game where we hold them up to a light and guess the shadow shape on the wall.

These have been an excellent investment. You can find them at Target, Fred Meyer/Smith's Marketplace, and in random places, like the petting zoo at Pointe Place in Utah, or our feed store down the street here in Bellingham.

Practicing the words "in front of" and "behind."

Our Veggie Tales Nativity supplemented with Schleich animals, including a Yule triceratops on the left and the Christmas lioness on the right...

Puzzles

Both children have loved chunky puzzles and puzzles with nobs since they could sit up. Now that the puzzles have become easy, they use the chunky pieces for other games and imaginative play.

Connor is listening to Old McDonald on the computer, and discovered on his own that his puzzle matches, so he puts each animal in the puzzle as it comes up in the song.

Art Supplies

The littlest children love to paint and use crayons. We have paint parties in the bath tub for easy clean up, crayons and paper on a low shelf for easy access, and an art easel with a chalkboard on one side and dry erase board on the other. I often make homemade playdough, and when I feel brave, there is glue and glitter.

I use this book so much, it is falling apart. Includes recipes for paints, clays/playdough, and other art materials.

Connor at 14 months, painting in the bath tub.

Deidre at 14 months with her brother.

Random Connor chalk drawing.

Musical Instruments

Babies are born dancing. They can actually tell if you are bouncing them in rhythm with the music you are dancing to or not. Each of our babies has had favorite songs and styles of music - Connor liked African, Deirdre liked Celtic, Moira likes Techno.

While a child will make a percussion instrument out of anything, ours have really taken to real instruments, including harmonicas, a child size guitar, a ukelele, and all kinds of percussion instruments.

Connor provides his own musical accompaniment to his potty training.

Deirdre rocks out in the living room.

Garden Tools

Both of my children have been fascinated by plants and gardening. Even if all you do is get one houseplant and one small watering can, your toddler will probably love caring for it. Ours also have hand trowels and a child size rake.

Helping plant sunflowers at our old rental.

Hilling up potatoes.

Deirdre uses their garden rake.

Books for Toddlers

Both of our kids are were, and still are, big fans of touchy feely books - anything with textures to touch and explore.

We have about ten books from the Usborne "That's Not My..." series.

So, now it is your turn - what toys do your young children seem to always turn to, and what books have been long time favorites?