Can anyone in the interwebs explain THIS to me?
Sunday, July 25, 2010
The Less Glamorous Sides of Pregnancy
We don't often talk about the parts of pregnancy that aren't beautiful. A few months ago I posted on facebook that I had wet myself after sneezing and several of my friends were surprised that I would admit to that. So, I'm going to admit to all of these things for you, just so you know you aren't alone, and because I have very little shame.
1. My nipples and areola have gone from pink to brown.This is due to hormonal changes, but I haven't found out why yet. Bryan's theory is that it may make the nipples more visible for the newborn. Anyone know for sure?
2. Speaking of skin changes, I have pregnancy mask. Again. This is dark patches that appear on the face. I've had this all 3 pregnancies. It's quite flattering, if looking diseased is in vogue.
3. I pass gas when I bend over. This is especially amusing if I'm in a grocery store reaching for something on a bottom shelf, or in the library where it's nice and quiet and occupied by children who think farts are funny and worth telling about to others.
4. I now average 3 bowel movements a day. It just started within the last few weeks. Apparently this is not uncommon in the third trimester. Since my first trimester I've been pooping within 30 minutes of waking up, every morning, without fail. Now it's that, plus throughout the day. Again, don't know why. I'm not eating more food, and I'm pretty sure my unborn daughter isn't eating sandwhiches without me. That would be a neat trick, though. One website suggests it's due to the increasing relaxation of muscles.
5. I can't get comfortable at night anymore. I wake up about every 45 minutes with cramping in my legs and hips, and what feels like a full bladder but inevitably ends up just a small tinkling of pee that had the bladder force of a tidal wave. How can so little liquid cause so much discomfort? Oh, right - there's a huge baby squishing the bladder as flat as a pancake.
6. I can't stand up from the couch or bed anymore. I have to ROLL off. We had a guinea pig once that we suspected was pregnant. We knew for certain when she rolled over on her back and then flailed her arms and legs like a dying bug, unable to roll back over again. That is me. I am a helpless, pregnant guinea pig.
7. And yes, I do still sometimes tinkle whenever I cough, sneeze or laugh, regardless of kegal exercises.
8. Taking a shower makes me tired and I have to sit on the edge of the bed for ten minutes to catch my breath before getting dressed.
9. My vaginal secretions smell stronger and "different." This bothers me to the point that I am often changing my underwear twice a day and spraying them with lavender essential oils diluted in water. That might seem extreme, but I have OCD and can't get over the idea that if I can smell me, so can other people.
10. I have mild arthritis and carpal tunnel syndrome in my fingers and wrists. I showed Bryan the swelling around my wrists one morning, and his response was "That's just not right." Incidentally, no amount of stretching or ice packs or anything helps. What does work is homeopathic arnica gel, once again blowing my mind with its unexplainable witchcraft. There's no logical reason why homeopathic remedies should work! And yet they do! WHY????
So, that's what I've been up to this last month I've been away from my blog. Just growing a baby, crocheting things, sewing things, harvesting things, nagging things, nesting like mad, trying to keep myself from panicking about the upcoming birth and the potential for preeclampsia again, stealing myself for having to argue with nurses and hospital staff, wishing I really could just follow through on my threat to just chug down a bottle of whiskey, bite a strip of leather and give birth in a cave somewhere. Just 4-7 weeks left, depending on the baby's timetable. The house will never be organized enough.
1. My nipples and areola have gone from pink to brown.This is due to hormonal changes, but I haven't found out why yet. Bryan's theory is that it may make the nipples more visible for the newborn. Anyone know for sure?
2. Speaking of skin changes, I have pregnancy mask. Again. This is dark patches that appear on the face. I've had this all 3 pregnancies. It's quite flattering, if looking diseased is in vogue.
3. I pass gas when I bend over. This is especially amusing if I'm in a grocery store reaching for something on a bottom shelf, or in the library where it's nice and quiet and occupied by children who think farts are funny and worth telling about to others.
4. I now average 3 bowel movements a day. It just started within the last few weeks. Apparently this is not uncommon in the third trimester. Since my first trimester I've been pooping within 30 minutes of waking up, every morning, without fail. Now it's that, plus throughout the day. Again, don't know why. I'm not eating more food, and I'm pretty sure my unborn daughter isn't eating sandwhiches without me. That would be a neat trick, though. One website suggests it's due to the increasing relaxation of muscles.
5. I can't get comfortable at night anymore. I wake up about every 45 minutes with cramping in my legs and hips, and what feels like a full bladder but inevitably ends up just a small tinkling of pee that had the bladder force of a tidal wave. How can so little liquid cause so much discomfort? Oh, right - there's a huge baby squishing the bladder as flat as a pancake.
7. And yes, I do still sometimes tinkle whenever I cough, sneeze or laugh, regardless of kegal exercises.
8. Taking a shower makes me tired and I have to sit on the edge of the bed for ten minutes to catch my breath before getting dressed.
9. My vaginal secretions smell stronger and "different." This bothers me to the point that I am often changing my underwear twice a day and spraying them with lavender essential oils diluted in water. That might seem extreme, but I have OCD and can't get over the idea that if I can smell me, so can other people.
10. I have mild arthritis and carpal tunnel syndrome in my fingers and wrists. I showed Bryan the swelling around my wrists one morning, and his response was "That's just not right." Incidentally, no amount of stretching or ice packs or anything helps. What does work is homeopathic arnica gel, once again blowing my mind with its unexplainable witchcraft. There's no logical reason why homeopathic remedies should work! And yet they do! WHY????
So, that's what I've been up to this last month I've been away from my blog. Just growing a baby, crocheting things, sewing things, harvesting things, nagging things, nesting like mad, trying to keep myself from panicking about the upcoming birth and the potential for preeclampsia again, stealing myself for having to argue with nurses and hospital staff, wishing I really could just follow through on my threat to just chug down a bottle of whiskey, bite a strip of leather and give birth in a cave somewhere. Just 4-7 weeks left, depending on the baby's timetable. The house will never be organized enough.
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