My Depression, And The Grocery Stores That Cause It

by Stefan Pastis (Creator of Pearls Before Swine)

A democracy is only as strong as its people are smart.

And that’s why grocery shopping depresses me.

You see, Staci hands me a big list every Sunday and I go and get the things on the list. I view it as a scavenger hunt, so that part’s not depressing.

The depressing part is the checkout stand.

I don’t know much about retail, but I know that the area immediately adjacent to the register is the most valuable real estate in the store, because that is where people make their impulse buys. So stores need to fill it with stuff that is sure to sell.

So each week I stare at that space.

And that’s where I get sad.

Because what people are buying is telling them the following:

Jessica Simpson is on the verge of a nervous breakdown because something ate her poodle.
George W. Bush is suicidal.
Whitney is exploding at Oprah.

And a photographer hid in the bushes to catch a dying Patrick Swayze as he left the hospital for the last time.

And those were just the periodicals.

On the right of me was all the food that has caused our current health care crisis.

So the things that sell best are the things that make us fat and the things that make us stupid.

The day I’ll be optimistic will be the day that there are impulse apples on the left of me, and F. Scott Fitzgerald books on the right of me.

Until then, we’ll get the government we deserve.

http://stephanpastis.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/my-depression-and-the-grocery-stores-that-cause-it/

You Look Like A Dork Carrying Your Baby In a Bucket

I feel like a flake for not posting a lot this past week, with was International Babywearing Week. So, having only a few hours left, I will get right to the point; you do not look good bending over funny and straining to carry your infant in her bucket car seat.

Hurty and un-smooth

Relaxed and smooth

Less sexy

More sexy

I know, I know - Connor was very colicky, so once he was asleep, I would leave him there, too. I even once brought him into a cafe while he was in his regular non-infant carseat so he could sleep through my meet-up with a friend. THAT was heavy and awkward and left a bruise, but I knew if I woke my son up, there'd be hell to pay.

Then I discovered the wonders of the Moby Wrap, and the next baby was easier to lull back to sleep after taking her out of her carseat. I still did it on occasion, but not without a strain on my back and some sweat on my brow, and repeatedly reminded myself to stop doing that.

But at least I have some excuse - the baby is asleep and I want him to stay that way. What's less understandable is the babies who never seem to be able to get out of those - the ones crying for mom while she just holds the hated pacifier in his mouth, figuring he'll give up trying to spit it out eventually, or even the ones who prop the bottle up in the baby's body, so that there's no skin-to-skin contact whatsoever.

I don't care what the situation is - that always makes me sad. If for some reason mom has some weird skin disease so that holding her baby will cause her burning pain and scar the baby for life, I am still sad that she can't hold the baby. Babies need touch, and lots of it, to thrive, but the whole industrialized world seems bent on creating product after product to help mom be able to spend less and less time with her inconvenient baby.

So, I thought I'd hit where it hurts - your appearance. Because if television, movies, and women's magazines have taught me anything, it's that women are extremely concerned with how they look. You look stupid hunched over with a heavy baby bucket, and when you have to bend yourself to compensate for the extra weight on one side, it gives you fat rolls on the other side.

I thought you should know.

Hallowhores: The Festive Approach to Telling Girls They Should Be Skinny and Slutty

I was going to post something mystical and life-affirming for the Autumnal Equinox today, but instead I find myself uncharacteristically outraged over the costumes being pitched to young girls these days.

So, here instead is an inspirational collection of photographs dedicated to how far several decades of feminism has brought us and our daughters. Apparently society has started realising that adult woman are tired of being objectified, so they have to start'em young.

PS - these costumes are sold under "children," "kids," and "tween" categories. To add fuel to your parental nightmares, look up "tween costumes" sometimes and see what the corporate world considers appropriate for your 11-12 year old.

Because I always do my housework in high heals.

Don't worry if you haven't blossomed early: this maid costume creates the illusion of cleavage for you.

Meow.

Bugs ARE what boys like, right?

But these ARE feminist. Look, they're both in the medical profession!

Pew! Pew!

The devil is in the details.

She IS a stay-at-home mom, so this one is all about FAMILY VALUES.

What slutty teen star HASN'T started out as a Disney prodigy?

Thieving and crime are always "in." Baby.

Don't worry, we have female aspirations covered. Look, women in sports!

And superheroes!

Even your 6 year old can get in on the action!

Because nothing helps your daughter's self esteem more than having to one-up the other girls in sexiness during the holidays.

"The APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls studied published research on the content and effects of media (including TV, movies, music videos, lyrics, magazines, video games, and the Internet) and found that the consequences of the sexualization of girls in media today are very real and are likely to be a negative influence on girls' healthy development.

Specifically, research evidence shows that sexualization and objectification:


-undermine a person's confidence in and comfort with her own body, leading to emotional and self-image problems, including shame and anxiety;


-are linked to eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression;


-have negative consequences on girls' ability to develop a healthy sexual self-image.


The study also suggests that men may be less likely to be satisfied with their female partners as a result of the unrealistic expectations created by the media portrayal of women. There also seems to be a tie between viewing pornography and sexualizing women. We see this as the questions submitted on our teen site (We're Talking Teen Health) more and more ask questions like why women are "supposed" to shave their genitals, which is obviously coming from partners who view images of women in pornography." SOURCE LINK

Almost moved in....

...and settled in our new apartment in Bellingham, and then I'll be back to blogging again. I've already found an established natural mommy group, and the downstairs neighbors have already yelled at us for being too noisy, and I already have lettuces and radishes coming up in the community garden plot. The library has a spot for dropping off and picking up free magazines, I can use food stamps at the farmer's market, and we've seen deer, squirrels, and bunnies. The student loan hasn't come in yet and we've all been sleeping on one inflatable bed, we have no couch, and I don't have a bowl big enough  for making more than one loaf of bread at a time, and I completely forgot to bring any trash cans whatsoever. It's both heaven and hell. ;-)

How I Learned To Crochet, or, Happy International Crochet Day!

In honor of International Crochet day, I thought I'd let you in on a little secret - I learned how to crochet because of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.

Bryan and I were both layed off from the same company soon after these events (and because of them - our department was reduced and moved across country) and spent a lot of time at the Magnolia Branch of the Seattle Public Library. We both decided to pick up hobbies to keep ourselves from going crazy, and I specifically wanted something to help distract myself from self-injury, since I was unmedicated and prone to scratching myself obsessively under stress.

I picked up a crochet instruction video on VHS and learned to crochet by watching it. It was very easy to follow and the instruction was fantastic. Granny squares are actually a great beginning project.

It was hard for me when I started doing solid squares- one time I even threw my whole project across the room - until I learned to always count my stitches. I'd stop short of the last stitch because it looked different from the others and ended up with trinagles instead of squares. Once I picked up the habit of counting, I learned one of the great secrets to crochet - count your stitches, count your stitches, count your stitches. I still have to do it, with my backpacks, with hats, with butterfly wings.
It just so happens I've been able to find that video I used online:

Classic Crochet - Granny Squares With Dianne Hills
It isn't made anymore and when you search for it, only one tiny picture comes up, but that's her, and wherever she is, thank you.

In Memory

We were here, in Seattle, when terrorists attacked America in 2001, 2993 people died, and American life turned upside-down forever, even though nothing was supposed to change. May we start funding education and compassion instead of war, may we suppo...rt freedom instead of fear and torture and loss of privacy, may we find peace within us, may we join the world instead of trying to rule it.

"It’s absurd and anti-life to be part of a system that compels you to sit in confinement with people of exactly the same age and social class. That system effectively cuts you off from the immense diversity of life and the synergy of variety; indeed it cuts you off from your own past and future, sealing you in a continuous present much the same way television does..."


– John Taylor Gatto

Human Babies: Cache or Carry?

Human Babies-Cache or Carry?



"Anthropology also teaches us a great deal about what human babies are designed to expect from their caregivers, based on very real biological needs. Mammalian maternal behavior is divided into two distinct behavioral norms: "cache" mammals and "carry" mammals. The cache mammals are those that leave their babies in hiding for long periods of time so the mother can hunt for food. These mothers have milk high in fat and protein, allowing their babies to sleep for long periods of time in order not to attract a predator with their cries.

The carry species are those mammals whose babies are relatively immature and must be on their mother's bodies or in very close proximity. These mothers produce milk that is low in fat and protein, which digests quickly, guaranteeing that the baby will be hungry more frequently. This forces the mother to stay close by, ideally having the baby on her body so they can move together quickly if needed to escape a dangerous situation. Human babies are by far the most immature babies born, needing constant care, including feeding, holding, rocking, and other soothing behaviors. Unfortunately, Western culture has traditionally treated human babies as if they were more like cache animals, trying to invent ways to keep them quiet and alone for as long as possible, especially at night. This can force babies to go against their biology and, in some cases, lead to failure to thrive.


Researchers in the United States and England have found that on average, babies in these countries are only touched or held for approximately 25 percent of their daytime hours. By nine months of age, the touch time goes down to 16 percent. Even young infants in a model day care center were only touched 14 percent of the day. In contrast, studies done with the !Kung San tribe in Africa found that infants are in touch with their mothers for approximately 70 percent of the day and in someone else's arms the rest of the time. These babies cry much less than Western babies.


Attachment parenting encourages parents to find a happy balance in their ability to keep their babies physically close. Seventy percent may seem overwhelming for some parents, especially if they have a physical challenge to holding their babies that much, but being aware of the biological needs for babies to be held and soothed encourages us to find creative ways to meet these needs.


Attached at the heart - By Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker"